After several years of hoping for a surprise, I think it is time to admit I have been scammed. Last Sunday a WhatsApp notification caught my eye. It was a message from an acquaintance introduced to me in 2021 by a mutual friend. Our mutual friend is also our mutual con artist.
I first met Daniel (Names have been changed.) while walking from the Bart station in the rain. I was attending the annual CAIS conference. The gathering alternates between Northern and Southern California and was something I looked forward to each January. I loved visiting San Francisco and particularly enjoyed traveling by public transportation. My backpack was full of books I hoped to read in between presentations. The rain was not heavy, but persistent.
Daniel appeared with a wide umbrella while I waited at the crosswalk. He was on his way to the same hotel and offered to share. We chatted amicably as we trudged up the increasingly steep hill. In the lobby we parted ways after he introduced me to the colleagues he was meeting. We exchanged cards and subsequently, connected on LinkedIn. A month afterwards, he asked if I would speak with a family friend and recent college graduate. The young woman and I shared a short phone call, an informational interview.
Fast forward 2020, Daniel reached out on LinkedIn. We traded a couple of messages and scheduled time for a phone call. We caught up. I heard about his new projects, his wife and kids. Nothing odd or out of the ordinary. With the benefit of hindsight, I now know the next step was to schedule another call and more talk about his project. He was really excited. Things were going well.
It was a slow seduction. The little bits of information about his project, the questions about my work, shared stories of young adult children and family, all part of more frequent calls. Then the invitation to invest came. I was well-played because he knew that what was more irresistible to me than the investment was being a part of the project. Learning something new, building something, and being a part of a team which is how I was introduced to Scott. Scott and I were to be co-workers, even given small research tasks to complete.
When I finally did invest, I remember thinking that I would only invest an amount that I was willing to never see again. Based on my limited experience with investing in start ups, I knew that even the best ideas could fail. In the back of my mind, there was a murmur asking if this guy whom I was talking to on the phone was really the guy who was so genuinely nice and helpful on that rainy San Francisco day.
This past Sunday I learned that the guy on the phone really was my friend with the umbrella, and Scott, my would-be co-worker, had filed a report with the FBI. When Scott first reached out via WhatsApp, I was suspicious because as coincidence would have it, Daniel had reached out just a few days earlier to give me an update and request a bit of encouragement. It felt as if the message from Scott might be another angle to ask for more money which Daniel had done on occasion. These requests were always for smaller amounts and time sensitive, meant to pay an unexpected fee or something like that.
After a few wary rounds of WhatsApp texts, I agreed to a call with Scott. His story was similar to mine in that he was interested in being part of the project, dissimilar to mine in that he and his entire family had invested a significant amount. Additionally, another family, more mutual friends of Scott and Daniel had invested their savings. They, too, have submitted reports to the FBI. There is little hope of being made whole financially. There is some hope among this group that justice may find Daniel. The two families only recently found out that they each had fallen for Daniel’s investment scheme. Shame and humiliation had kept them silent.
Upon reflection, there was just enough truth in Daniel’s stories to make his project believable, just enough personal information to make him trustworthy. In a strange way, I was relieved that the kind, smiling person I remember with the umbrella was the same person who had taken my money. Scams and phishing schemes are rampant these days, usually happening without real human connection and over a much shorter time period. Scammers prey on a sense of urgency. They also prey on some of our best qualities. Daniel preyed on my willingness to listen and my desire to support people in their endeavors. Daniel also preyed on my weaknesses. He exploited my sometimes porous boundaries and the sense of ennui I felt professionally towards the end of Covid restrictions. I read a study that humans are only about 53% accurate in spotting a lie on average. Once again, I am reminded of my humanity in all its fragility and wonder.
