During Caroline’s visit, she and I rode rented beach cruisers along the coast. We started to have one of those stream of consciousness conversations. It started with noticing how much fun it is to ride a bike then meandered to whether or not we would ever take another Soul Cycle class. For the record, Caroline is a ‘yes’, I am on the fence. Part of my ambivalence is because I don’t know if I am ready to enter into the cult of Soul Cycle again.
When I was in Third Grade, a longtime family friend who had started their own religion began to recruit me. As a little kid, I didn’t know what was happening. All I knew was that Lady Yvette always made sure to talk to me when we had family gatherings. She would take me to dance performances and send me wonderful notes written in her beautiful cursive handwriting. The notes generally talked about the planets, astrology, and Greek goddesses. Her religion was based on female deities and 1970’s feminist ideals. My discovery of D’Aulaires Book of Greek Myths at the school library coincided perfectly with her campaign. I could spend hours reading the myths, taking in the illustrations, and memorizing the family trees of the gods, mortals, as well as various nymphs and satyrs.
The attention while being recruited feels good. The sense of belonging is comforting. Knowing the rules of the group builds confidence. I can definitely see how susceptible I am. There is a reassurance that comes from being part of a group. There is a particular excitement from being selected to join.
If I ever did join a real cult, I would only last for a little while. It would be great at the beginning. Everyone would be excited to welcome me. I would eagerly adopt the uniform of the cult. Each day would involve learning something new. I would be meeting people and making friends. Then I would start to have questions. Why are we doing it this way? Has anyone ever considered changing the way things are done? What kind of answer is ‘because they told us to’?
My questions would start to get more frequent. There is always that part of me drawn to examining the process. In particular, whether an organization’s processes and systems are in alignment with the desired results and stated objectives. I never would have lasted with Lady Yvette and her religion, even if my mom hadn’t squashed her plans to make me a High Priestess. If her religion was really about supporting women and female leadership then wouldn’t the place to start be a well-rounded education including a study of the world’s religions instead of trying to indoctrinate a child on a singular path?
Joining the Brownies and eventually the Girl Scouts as an elementary schooler might have been the closest contact I have had with deep group-think. It was fun for a bit. Then at some point, doing things to get badges that you had to buy and sew onto a sash began to bother me. The sash was only worn occasionally and mostly, to advertise my competency among my fellow scouts or troop leaders. The upside was that in pursuit of a Girls Scouts swimming badge, I swam every day one summer. Just don’t get me started on selling those cookies.
